Thank you
December 29, 2021
I just realized that, because this community exists (mostly) online and we're tethered together by Seed&Spark, I can still subject you to my little messages. Mwahaha.
I also realized that I'm now in a position to send you all an end-of-year thank you.
You, the mighty community of "Macbeth at the Workroom" supporters, helped realize one of my proudest, and most important, life accomplishments. It's strange to think that it happened *this year* - 2021 - a whole year of constant low-grade panic, punctuated with Shakespeare-level meltdowns, and sprinkled with despondency and nihilism.
Needless to say, I'm in therapy.
In my last session, I sat across the Skype screen from my therapist, once again bemoaning my state and expressing how life doesn't feel worth it, how I can't make decisions, how one moment I am happy as a puppy and the next I'm thinking about sticking my head in the oven. (To be honest, this is not a new place in the topography of my emotional landscape. We've been here before.)
She asked when I had sat still last, and done a little meditation. I couldn't remember.
"Yes, this is hard. But take a few minutes, tune into your breath, and try considering what you have accomplished this year. How, certainly, had life gone on as normal, you'd be in an entirely different place - but, because the life you knew stopped, you had to sit still, and cultivate epic amounts of emotional strength and resilience. And out of that came the most incredible creative achievements."
I sat their pouting, stubbornly not wanting to admit she was right.
"And then think about all the people for whom this happened in the world - a similar creative blossoming. There is wisdom here," she said.
It may seem that contributing a bit of money here or there isn't a life-changing gesture. You know what your contributions did on paper. But they also proved to me that there's a community who believes in my presence in this world as an artist. It proved to me that there's the most astounding, global network of people who supported a scrappy Shakespeare play they would never see during a pandemic. This is life-changing. The ripples of your generosity will affect the trajectory of my career for the rest of my life.
So, thank you, again.
And I hope that 2022, perhaps, brings you a taste of the creative unknown.
With all my gratitude,
Hilary